RECALL NOTICE
The Maker of all models of human beings is recalling all units
manufactured, regardless of make or year, due to the serious
defect in the primary and central component of the heart.
This is
due to a malfunction in the original prototype units code named
Adam and Eve, resulting in the reproduction of the same defect
in all subsequent units.
This defect has been technically termed,
"Sub-sequential Internal Non-morality,"
or more commonly known
as
SIN
as it is primarily expressed.
Some of the symptoms:
[a] Loss of direction
[b] Foul vocal emissions
[c] Amnesia of origin
[d] Lack of peace and joy
[e] Selfish, or violent behavior
[f] Depression or confusion in the mental component
[g] Fearfulness
[h] Idolatry
[i] Rebellion
The Manufacturer, Who is neither liable nor at fault for this defect,
is providing factory authorized repair and service free of charge to
correct this SIN defect.
The Repair Technician,
Jesus
has most
generously offered to bear the entire burden of the staggering cost
of these repairs.
There is no additional fee required.
The toll free number to call for repair in all areas is:
P-R-A-Y-E-R
Once connected, please upload your burden of SIN through the
REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from the
repair Technician, Jesus
into the heart component.
No matter how
big or small the SIN defect is,
Jesus will replace it with:
[a] Love
[b] Joy
[c] Peace
[d] Patience
[e] Kindness
[f] Goodness
[g] Faithfulness
[h] Gentleness
[i] Self-control
Please see the operating manual,
HOLY BIBLE
for further details
on the use of these fixes.
As an added upgrade, the manufacturer
has made available to all repaired units a facility enabling direct
monitoring and assistance from a resident
Maintenance Technician,
the Holy Ghost
Repaired units need only make Him welcome and He will take up
permanent residence on the premises!
WARNING:
Continuing to operate the human being unit without
correction voids the Manufacturer's warranty, exposing the unit to
dangers and problems too numerous to list and will result in the
human unit being permanently impounded.
For free emergency service,
call JESUS.
DANGER:
The human being units not responding to this recall
action will have to be scrapped in the furnace.
The SIN defect will
not be permitted to enter Heaven so as to prevent contamination
of that facility.
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